Alien X Reports by Breanna, 6th Grade Waynesboro Area Middle School Day 1 It all started when I landed my spaceship on Planet Earth at around 5 o'clock. I transformed myself into this human character named Bob Johnson. I, Bob Johnson, became 5 foot 9 inches tall, with short, brown, receding hair. I decided to take a look around this new planet, and saw that all earthlings seemed to be drinking the same thing. It was called “coffee” so I went to a place they called the bakery to see what all the buzz was about, but when I tried coffee it was the worst thing I have ever tasted. I thought my experience could not get worse little did I know this would be easy compared to the other human things I would experience. I decided to go into something called an apartment to find shelter. I hoped to see how nice it was, but it was the opposite of nice. There was a huge bed all made, a kitchen all arranged correctly by alphabetical order, a bathroom with folded towels, and everything was so neat and organized. Why can't these human people have chairs upside down, blankets scattered across the ground, towels soaking wet, and the kitchen having everything unorganized like usual. I just decided to stay in this awful bedroom for the rest of the evening, as I had no other choice. I tried to order take-out, but they only had gross food. They did not have anything good like slugs, worms,spiders, not even my favorite frozen flies. I just decide to go to sleep in this awfully uncomfortable thing they call a bed. (How am I supposed to sleep upside down in this thing?) Day 2 I woke up (I had slept terribly so... uncomfortable) and I heard this weird sound, it was like a ringing sound. I looked over, and I saw this small rectangular shaped thing that had a screen on it. I walked over and there was a green circle and a red circle. I thought about the spaceship and remembered do not push the red button, so I pushed the green button, and a voice started talking. It said, “Bob Johnson this is the government, we know who you are, we know what you are, and we are coming for you.” I dashed out of the apartment room in order to protect our alien nation. I ran straight for the door to leave and as soon as I stepped out I stopped in my tracks, everyone was in these moving objects on 4 wheels, every once in a while there would be more wheels. It made me wonder what they were. Maybe they are like our transportation pods, but a lot slower. I thought maybe someone would let me ride with them, to get me away from here. I stepped closer but nobody would stop. They were stopping for other people but not me. I took a closer look and people were holding their hand out as if to get the drivers attention. I tried but it was very hard. Finally, someone stopped and asked me where I was going. I said "Anywhere but here" They told me I could come with them. The driver told me they were going to “McDonalds” and asked if I wanted anything. I asked what McDonalds was and they all looked at me with a strange look and said, “What are you from another planet?” They then said, “It is the best fast food restaurant ever.” I was so confused, but I needed to be like a normal human so I agreed that I would have whatever they got. After they ate the strangest food I had ever seen, they left me at McDonald's telling me that this was as far as they could take me. I decided to take a look around behind this food eatery and saw this grey mouse that looked delicious. I started going after it but then a furry creature that made a meow sound wanted the same mouse. I started chasing the mouse but the creature that meowed was faster than me. After the creature took my mouse, I noticed 3 big black transportation pods closing in on me. I realized it had to be those government people. I made a run for it into this area that had lots of tall wooden poles, with green leafy things at the top of them. I also saw metal posts with chains hanging from them with a curved piece of plastic hanging from them, and there were tiny humans going back and forth on them. I figured this would be a good place to hide because the government people would not abduct me in front of these tiny humans. I hid behind a large silver cylinder that had tiny flies circling above it. As people walked past they cupped their hands around their noses, but in my opinion I thought the fragrance smelled delicious. As I crouched there, I could not believe that I, ALIEN X, had been transformed into this human Bob Johnson. I understood that the entire Alien Nation would be in jeopardy if the government found me. Even though fear was gripping me I had to stay brave and strong, if I ever wanted to see my planet again. I had to use my best defenses. I needed to act fast. These 3 black transportation pods were looking for me, so I decided to transform into one of these tiny humans, my new disguise would be Jenny Jacobs. She had long red hair, and she was tinier than the cylinder I had hid behind. I decided to explore, and wanted to get on this spinney thing, it was really fun, except for the part where I threw up slimy neon green alien food. Then all of a sudden the 3 black pods approached me. I ran as fast as I could, and hid. I realized I would have to transform once again. I had no clue what I should transform into, but I realized there was only one thing they would never expect, I would transform into my favorite food, a fly! I flew into that cylinder thing and ate a ton of delicious food. People just kept adding more and more things into it for me to ingest. I really appreciated that as I was quite hungry. After filling my tiny stomach, I decided to go out and explore these government pests. I flew into one of the government pods to see if they were talking about me. It turns out they were talking about me and they said that they needed to find me for the safety of mankind. As they were talking about how they were going to capture and study me, I decided to flee, but the door slammed shut and I was trapped! After a long trip in the dark of the night, the pod came to a stop. It was getting late, so I decided to stay in the pod for the rest of the night. As they left the operator of the pod grabbed his coffee out of a circular hole, I thought this would be a good place to spend the night. Day 3 I had a terrible wakeup call this morning when the Pod Operator put their scalding hot coffee on me, luckily I was able to wiggle out. We started speeding down the highway, when I was finally free from the coffee prison. To make a bad situation worse, the operator and government people started swatting at me. Finally, the government person put the window down, so I was able to get out. As soon as I got free, I smelled something so amazing my heart started to melt. As I got closer, I could smell it even more. I went to the ground, and took a nibble of it, and it was even more delicious than worms. This warm, smoldering, brown pile of deliciousness was sitting there waiting just for me. As I gobbled it, I noticed there was an abundance of these piles all around. Then I noticed a human with a small, furry creature on a rope. This creature dropped more of this yummy treat from his backside. What a buffet. After a short nap, I awoke and looked around. I felt that I was safe from the government agents so I transformed back into Bob Johnson. I had been walking forever when I came across the most interesting thing I had ever seen. It seemed to be a way for humans to clean themselves; the sign said it was a public pool, which must mean a public bathing area. As the humans cleaned themselves, I decided to try another type of Earth food. It was a triangular item with gooey, white stuff all over it, and round red pieces scattered across it. I have to say that this is the only human food that actually tasted good. The humans were calling it pizza. Finally, a food for the entire universe. As I was savoring this pizza, a scrawny teenager in the pool was looking at one of those rectangular communication devices in his hand, pointed at me, and hollered, “Hey look it’s him! I just saw a wanted sign on TV of him.” They called the government and within 2 minutes, the black pods were back. I transformed into the fly again and started buzzing away as I heard the Operator yell, “Send up the Drones!” The government sent surprisingly large and very menacing looking flying things with propellers that one of the government people was controlling from the ground to chase after me. I was very scared and frustrated. I needed to find a hiding place, so I looked around and saw a small cylinder shaped hole that the drones would not be able to fit into. There was a sign that read Caution Drainage Pipe. I hid in there for what seemed like an eternity. I figured that the coast would be clear after this troubling wait. So now, I beg of you: Dear Intergalactic Committee, I have been on this planet called Earth for 3 days now. These Earth people are so weird. This was what happened to me these past 3 days with these crazy humans! Please let me come home, ALIEN X I anxiously await your response.